Harry Potter becomes a Jedi
by Melamorie Blymm
Summary: PG- because I feel like it. This is a Harry Potter/Star Wars parody (duh) and was written by Ariana Buchanane and Melamorie Blymm. YOHOO! Enjoy, and REVIEW!


A/N: A long, Long time ago, Melamorie wrote her last fiction. Long time, No see. And no "C", too. Last time we met I was still kind of normal (as normal as MELAMORIE can be), but now – I am completely insane. My dearest friend (oh mighty one) Ariana made ME obsessed with Star Wars, and now we are walking around, calling people "names" and writing stories, Harry Potter/Star Wars based. So here it all is – our first ( but not last) creation:

****

Harry Potter Becomes a Jedi

  
One freezing cold day at Hogwarts Harry Potter was reading a book on   
Quidditch to sharpen up his skills. It was quiet and he was the only one in   
the common room. Ron and Hermione were at the library. Hermione was helping   
Ron study for his O. W. L's. Harry was offered the opportunity to come along,   
but with the big game only days away he thought he'd better not. He sat there   
reading up on an effective technique for searching for the Snitch when he   
heard a strange noise outside.   
He opened the door and peeked out to see what it was. To his surprise it was   
neither person, animal, nor mineral. It was a small blue and white robot. It   
made a few beeping noises. Harry did not know how to speak robot so he simply   
stared at it.   
"How did you get into Hogwarts?" he asked the robot.   
The robot twirled around and made a few more beeping noises in response.   
Harry shrugged and made a confused face at it.   
"I believe I can answer that question," said a tall golden robot from behind   
Harry.   
Harry jumped in disbelief. It was as though he was about to have a heart   
attack.   
"Don't ever do that again," said Harry, "Who are you?"   
"Why yes, I am C -3PO and this little fellow is R2-D2,"he said pointing at   
the Blue and White colored robot, "We were sent here by Princess Leia. We   
believe we have information that may interest you."   
"Really?" asked Harry in disbelief.   
"Are you by chance the boy they call Harry Potter? The famous wizard who   
defeated Lord Voldebort?"   
"That's Lord Voldemort," Harry corrected, "And yes I am Harry Potter."   
"Well there is something you should know. We need you to come with us to a   
galaxy far, far away. There Darth Vadar and Voldemort are planning to take   
over the world together. We need your help. But of course, we will need you   
to undergo Jedi training with Yoda first."   
"Huh?"said Harry a look of confusion spread across his face.   
"You've never heard of Yoda?" asked C -3PO, "Surly you jest."   
"Who is Yoda?"   
"You'll know when you meet him. Now , where is the way out? We'll have to   
start our journey at once."   
"Well we'll have to ask Dumbledore," explained Harry.   
"Well alright bring us to this Dumbledore."   
Harry led them up to the stone gargoyle.   
"Cockroach Cluster," he said.   
The gargoyle came to life just as it had done so many other times. It opened   
the doors and they were lead in to Dumbledore's office.   
"Miraculous," commented C -3PO as R2-D2 beeped wildly.   
Dumbledore greeted them sincerely.   
"Well Harry, who have we got here?"   
"This is C -3PO and this is R2-D2. I found them outside the entrance to   
Gryffindor tower. They say Voldemort and Darth Vadar have joined forces."   
"Why thats horrible!" shouted Dumbledore.   
"Dumbledore there's one thing I don't get. Who's Darth Vadar?"   
"Why Darth Vadar is the evil ruler of the Dark Side. He started good and went   
bad on his journey through life now he is the worst of the worst with such   
skill that you've never seen. The force is on his side."   
"The force?" asked Harry.   
"The power that is essential for all Jedi to have. It makes him very skilled."   
C -3PO nodded his head obviously very impressed with Dumbledore's knowledge.   
"What is a Jedi?"asked Harry.   
"Those are the guys that where bathroom robes and run around with light   
sabers, you know," answered Dumbledore.   
"I still don't get it. Tell me C -3PO."   
"Oh I'm sorry it's my quiet time right now. I shouldn't even be talking.   
Oops," said C -3PO.   
"Dammit!" screamed Harry, "Why am I the only one who doesn't understand what   
in the hell is going on?!?" shouted Harry.   
"Mind your language young man," Dumbledore scolded Harry.   
"Sorry,"harry apologized.   
"Fine," said C -3PO, "A long, long time ago

In a galaxy far away

Naboo was   
under an attack 

And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn 

Could talk the federation into  
Maybe cutting them a little slack 

But their response, it didn't thrill us

They locked the doors and tried to kill us 

We escaped from that gas 

Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass 

We took a bongo from the scene 

And we went to Theed to see the Queen 

We all wound up on Tatooine 

That's where we found this boy... 

  
Oh my my this here Anakin guy

May be Vader someday later – 

now he's just a small fry 

And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye 

Sayin' "Soon I'm   
gonna be a Jedi" 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" 

Did you know this junkyard slave   
Isn't even old enough to shave

And he can use the Force, they say 

Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen 

Though he's just nine and she's fourteen 

Yah, he's probably gonna marry her someday 

Well, I knew he built C-3PO 

And I've heard how fast his pod can go

And we were broke, it's true 

So we made a wager or two

He was a prepubescent flyin' ace

And the minute Jabba started off that race 

Well, I knew who would win first place 

Oh yes, it was our boy 

We started singin' ... 

Oh my my this here Anakin guy

May be Vader someday later – 

now he's just a small fry 

And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye 

Sayin' "Soon I'm   
gonna be a Jedi" 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" 

Now we finally got to Coruscant

The Jedi Council we knew would want

To see how good the boy could be

So we took him there and we told the tale

How his midi-chlorians were off the scale 

And he might fulfill that prophecy 

Oh, the Council was impressed, of course

Could he bring balance to the Force? 

They interview the kid

Oh,   
training they forbid 

Because Yoda sensed in him much fear

And Qui-Gon said "Now listen here" 

"Just stick it in your pointy ear"

I still will teach this boy"

He was singin' ...

Oh my my this here Anakin guy

May be Vader someday later – 

now he's just a small fry 

And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye 

Sayin' "Soon I'm   
gonna be a Jedi" 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" 

We caught a ride back to Naboo

'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to

I frankly would've liked to stay

We all fought in that epic war 

And it wasn't long at all before   
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day 

And in the end some Gunguns died

Some ships blew up and some pilots fried

A lot of folks were croakin'   
The battle droids were broken 

And the Jedi I admire most 

Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast 

Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost I guess

I'll train this boy   
And I was singin'

Oh my my this here Anakin guy

May be Vader someday later – 

now he's just a small fry 

And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye 

Sayin' "Soon I'm   
gonna be a Jedi" 

"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi" 

  
"As interesting as that was, I still don't get it," said Harry.   
"Damn Harry you have got some thick skull."   
"Pardon," said Dumbledore.   
"Oh sorry," said C -3PO.   
"I give Harry permission to go as long as he is back in time fore his O. W.   
L.'s."   
"How much time does that give us?"asked C -3PO.   
"About three months," answered Dumbledore.   
"That doesn't leave us much time," said C -3PO, "We must go now! Good -bye   
Dumbledore!"   
"Good Luck Harry!" shouted Dumbledore.   
"Where are we going and how are we gonna get there?"   
"Our first stop is Yoda's cave where you will train to be a Jedi. When the   
training is complete we will take you to the Death Star to battle Vadar and   
Voldemort."   
"Both of them?"   
"You will have help. We're about to board the Millennium falcon where your   
help awaits you."   
They step inside the large ship. Harry looks around mouth wide open.   
"Watch out Harry an insect might fly in."   
Harry quickly shut his mouth and looked around the vessel once more. He saw a   
few people looking at him and smiling. One of the things in the ship wasn't   
even human. It was a big furry animal, called a wookie.   
"I"m Luke." said the shortest o the three people there, " So you're going to   
help us battle Darth and What's - His - Name."   
"That's Voldemort," Harry corrected, "And yes, yes I am.   
"I'm Hon Solo. I fly this baby, see. I here you fly a broom. Well, wait til   
you get a load of how the Falcon flies. You'll love kido."   
I girl in a white dress started to walk toward Harry. She had a Danish on   
each ear. She wore a white gown and a very faded statement.   
"I'm Princess Leia. That over there is Chewbacca," she said pointing at the   
Wookie. Chewbacca growled in response.   
So they were off flying with precision of a falcon (duh!). They reached a   
damp and stinky swamp.   
"Eeewww!" Harry said as he walked out of the Millennium Falcon, "Someone   
actually lives here?"   
"This is the home of Yoda, he's like 900 years old and when I say old, I mean   
old," said Hon.   
"Shut up Hon!" said Luke angrily.   
A small green creature with pointy ears stepped out of a bush. He had a small   
patch of Gray hair and cup in his hand that contained a hot batch of green   
tea.   
"Hello! Have you brought me toilet paper as I had requested or a new student   
will do," croaked Yoda.   
"This is Harry," said Luke in noble voice.   
"Young Harry training with you shall take an approximated 1 ½ months. I've   
got other appointments after February. I have to marry my highschool   
sweetheart. Now we must give you your bathrobe. I hope you don't mind, but   
all I've got left is pink."   
"PINK!" yelled Harry.   
"Or you could go naked if you want," teased Hon.   
"In that case Pink is fine," said Harry.   
Thus Harry was left to train with Yoda. He learned how to use a light saber,   
how to pick up big rocks with the power of his brain, use a bush for a   
bathroom, drink nothing other than green tea and wear pink bathrobes. Finally   
in 1 ½ months the training was over.   
The Millennium Falcon showed up to pick up Harry and they were off to the   
death star.   
As we left Hogwarts Dumbledore was left with the task of explaining to the   
students what had happened to Harry. Nobody understood except the muggle born   
children who watched star wars ,who were faced with the task of explaining to   
the other kids what in the hell a Jedi was. Yet still no one else got it. Not   
one person in Slytherin understood because they had not one person to explain   
it to them. They were still perfectly happy that Potter was gone. Hermione   
was getting a head ache from trying to explain to Ron what a light saber was.   
Now back in the Millennium Falcon, Harry was eating an Ice Cream Sundae with   
Leia and Luke. He seemed very happy until he saw the Death Star. That scared   
him a lot. The New Death star was a huge model of Darth Vadar's Head. It was   
so scary that Harry nearly wet himself. As they flew in the mouth opened and   
it began to smell like onion. Harry covered his nose with both hands and   
began cursing like a maniac.   
"Harry stop! Onion brings out the worst in people," said Luke.   
"I hate onion!" screamed out Harry.   
Chewbacca seemed to be enjoying himself. He had his eyes closed and his mouth   
opened.   
"What's up with him?" asked Harry.   
"He likes onion," answered Hon closing his nostrils.   
The door of the Millennium Falcon opened and Harry came tumbling down. He   
landed with a thump on ground.   
"That hurt," he said.   
"Ha - Ha!" laughed Hon, "Pathetic little boy."   
"Shut up Hon!"shouted Harry up at him as he ran down the steps.   
They traveled through the halls of the Death Star searching for evil Vadar   
and Voldemort. Suddenly, they heard a noise. It was Darth Vadar and Voldemort   
, they were both drunk with whiskey.   
"Give me your keys you can't drive home in this condition," said Darth Vadar.   
"No I won't . . .hic . . .I don't care if I'm . . . hic . . . I'm going to   
drive home and like it . . . hic . . ."   
Voldemort was clearly too drunk. He was holding a bottle of vodka in his hand   
and constantly drinking more from it.   
"This is a good time to attack," whispered Hon, "They'll never know what hit   
him."   
Harry and Luke took out their light sabers and attacked Darth and Voldie. It   
was a long battle lasting about ten minutes tops. It was rather confusing   
Voldemort broke down the minute Harry broke his Vodka bottle. Voldemort was   
crying into his hands screaming "Nnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooo! That was my last   
Vodka!"   
Darth had been ambushed by Harry and Luke and fled in fright. Luke had no   
luck blowing up Darth's New Death Star because they were in it, but when they   
Luke shot a laser right through the left eye of the death star.   
Harry returned to school a month before his O. W. L.'s. He spent the entire   
month studying. He took them with incredible ease.   
One day Harry, Hermione and Ron were talking in the halls when they saw   
Malfoy pointing at Harry and sniggering uncontrollably. Harry giggled a   
little and signaled for Ron and Hermione to be quiet.   
"Look what I learned to," he said as he looked at Malfoy with extreme   
concentration.   
He began to lift Malfoy off the ground and landed him into a trash can.   
Harry, Ron and Hermione laughed hysterically, falling to the ground, and went to class (oh, by the way – it was Potions).   
The End 

THE DISCLAIMER: We, and I in particular, own nothing here. The Wonderful song C-3PO sings belongs to Weird Al, The wonderful Harry Potter characters belong to Rowling (oh, why, why am I not Rowling), Star Wars characters belong to George Lucas (or to themselves, which one you prefer?), and Voldie's vodka bottle belongs to "smirnov" corporation. So their money will not go to us **sniff**. The rest is ours. We belong to ourselves… Now, do we? I'll get back at you with that one. 

ANOTHER END

A/N: So that was a good story, you think?

Yeah, and if YOU, little nasty creatures, don't review, I'll… I'll send DRUNK Darth Vader, Voldemort, Malfoys and all the evil creatures over your house for a sleepover party with BRITNEY SPEARS and BARNEY! Sounds fun, huh?   



End file.
